Betty Mutimba

I Want To Quit Smoking

But, I’m scared.

It feels like I’m about to go into freefall. Like I’m losing hold of something that has been comforting and consistent and always available when I needed it. 

Problem is, I need it all the time. 

I have an addiction. It has taken a long time to admit that. Especially about weed. I love the 420 magic and the global community around it, but smoking weed has become destructive for me.

I realise that I cannot move into the next phase of my life’s purpose without leaving the weed and cigarettes behind.

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Still, I’m really scared. It feels like I’m about to go out on the water on a raft where I have nothing to hold onto, and I don’t know if I can stay balanced on my own. I can’t swim, I have a fear of drowning. I’m scared I will drown without my smokes.

I realise that the road least taken in this case, is the one where I quit. The brave thing to do is to go out on that raft and balance on my own.

I want to be brave, and bold and inspiring to the women who come after me. I want good health. I want productive habits. I want my mind at 100%. I want growth. I want dreams coming true.

I don’t want to be shackled to something as fickle as weed and cigarettes. I don’t want to miss out on my destiny because of an addiction. 

This means, I have to start processing my feelings the right way. It means I can’t light up and smoke every time I feel stressed or unhappy or unmotivated. 

It means I need to switch up my lifestyle: get out of the house more, read more, exercise, replace tv shows with movies, cook more, write more, meditate, spend more time with my baby sis...

I can’t come up with a plan for how I’ll fill ALL of my days going forward, but I can figure out the next 5 minutes. And then the next 5. And the next 5... Until, all I’m doing is winning.

What is your addiction story?




 

Duncan

Hi Betty.. I'm sorry for what you're going through.. I'll be posting a past struggle of my own, but through God, we're recovering :) The start will make you unsure but if you keep at it daily with people supporting you (if you have none, know God's always there for you) na maombi nakuombea. Also avoid triggers to what can make you relapse e.g smoker friends, clubs maybe, your peddler's number etc